So I finally decided to talk to him about her. 

And he just said how can you even think of that?

So I end up feeling bad for even bringing it up. For even thinking that now.

if you keep slipping in so many negative things between us, it makes me reconsider everything. when everything seems to be  like a nice breezy sunny day, you bring up a storm cloud that messes everything up. also, you still suspect me of such things after all we've been through... i don't know. everyone still thinks i like her. everyone won't forget that. think hard on this.

I feel horrible now. I thought telling him would make me feel better, but it's only made me feel worse. I thought telling him something that's been bothering me for about a month now would make things better.

It didn't.

Apparently I mess everything up and everything's my fault.

Life is great.

----

Yesterday I was helping my aunt prepare for my cousin's 9th birthday party and she brings up my mother.

"I hope your mom leaves that good for nothing guy when she comes back here"

"I hope so too, he's just a burden on her"

He really is though. The only reason she's still with him is because of my sister, but she needs to start making decisions for herself. He's not helping her. Life has been so much harder for her and he doesn't make it any easier. He doesn't do anything. 

I should really try to get a job over the summer. So my mom won't have to spend so much money on me and instead for my sister.

I really wonder where I'm gonna be when my mom gets back.

Since she never stops moving..