It's funny because I think Joneil thinks that I hate him.
But it's not like that at all.


Yesterday was my seriously perfect day gone completely wrong.

Everything was going so well. I got captain for field hockey and I thought nothing could rid me of that happiness I was feeling.

Until I got home of course.

In my previous post I was talking about how I get this vibe from Joneil when I talk to him.
So I basically just feel like he doesn't want to talk to me. On Thursday, I tried talking to him twice and he ignored me both times. So yesterday morning I IMed him


"Do you hate me or something?"
"no"


I didn't see his reply until I got home from school. We got our schedules yesterday so I went on facebook to post it and I got a notification saying Joneil commented on one of my pictures so I was REALLY surprised.

It happened to be the picture of us on possibly one of my happiest days.

"Can you take this off, thanks"

That, with all honesty, crushed me. I couldn't hold in the tears so I just let it out and told my cousin about it in between sobs.

I guess I feel a little better now. I just hate that so many things remind me of him. Stupid songs, stupid animals, just stupid things that we loved. They all just make me miss him so much more.

But anyway, on with my story.
He was online so I said to him

"You're a jerk, I hope you know that"

"How am I a jerk?"

"Everytime I talk to you I get this vibe that you don't want to talk to me. Yesterday I tried talking to you twice and you ignored me both times."

"Well, why bother talking to you? Since I never met your expectations"

"then THANKS for giving me all that bullshit about wanting us to be good and to be friends"

"I don't remember saying that"

"hahh, you're funny"

"lol, i wish"

then he blocked me
a little bit later he unblocked me and by then I calmed down a lot so I said to him

"I hope you know that I only said the thing about expectations that night because I was pissed and was a bitch. and I know I'm a bitch, I thought we got that clear. and for whatever else I've done, I'm sorry. I never really had expectations for us, you know that. So I'm just sorry.

I'm done, I just had to let you know that.

It's okay if you don't want to have anything to do with me anymore."

"Okay, vickie"


and that's the last of that.
I don't want to talk about this anymore.

This is done.