I haven't been feeling too great these last few days.
The other night, Joneil said I should vent. So I did.
And for the first time in a really long time, I told him EVERYTHING.
How I hate being completely fine. How I discipline myself to stop those feelings.
And how it's so quickly wasted when he does something. And how it makes me miss him.
He told me he doesn't want to do that to me.
He just wants to be close to me. We were close friends before and I still want us to be.
Basically, he just wants to keep me in his life.
And I definitely want to keep him in mine.
He's a part of my life now. I talk to him so much it's crazy.
I talk to him more than I talk to my family, more than CALVIN.
At the same time, he's also the person that brings me the most misery.
Is it worth it? Being friends with him but constantly changing moods.
One moment, I'm happy the next I'm not.
I still want us to be friends of course, but I want these feelings to go away.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Posted by vickienguyen at 6:38 AM
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3 comments:
You know, I always checked up on your blog every once in a while to see if you made any new posts, cause i always read them.
But after you posted that one on May 26th, and as I kept checking, I assumed you weren't gonna post anymore, since it'd been TWO MONTHS without any blogging on here.
Then today I decide to take a look, all of a sudden and there's like A TON of more posts. so i just went on a reading spree of all you've written since July 25th xD
And...
-Joneil's a jerk. Not like that's gonna help or anything [it probably won't?], and in fact, you might even get mad at me for saying so [since he's your friend?], I don't really know. But according to all this, in my opinion, he's a jerk. None of what he's done to you makes any sense whatsoever. & Calvin always told me he was a dick, and now I completely agree. >:| Just my thoughts ^^
-Now I want to try what Tiff said too! xD
-You seem very stressed. I think you handle all this pretty well. I think it's good you discipline yourself to feel fine. I hope you'll feel even better as time goes by~
I'm sorry. D:
Thank you :)
and I agree, Joneil IS a jerk who never makes any sense.
Like earlier, he asked me to homecoming
and I was just ?!
Oh, and I have two online blogs.
But the other, Joneil reads. So I decided to start using this one.
I guess the other is just to update my friends out of state but this one is much more personal.
he asked you to homecoming?
xD
hahahaha how odd.
oh. well good because i read this one. :D
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