I wish I knew what was good for me.

This day had its ups and downs.

It was definitely a day to remember though.

I went on a run with April & Vi and it was actually really fun. We ran to April's house, stopped for a drink and watched some tv, then ran/jog/walked back xD

So when we came back we were just throwing around on the blacktop, then Vi threw the ball at me and I missed it and it rolled away. So I was chasing it, and it went through the fence toward the sewer and I was thinkin oh crap, that's April's ball. So I ran over to try and stop it but I was too late. So I opened the manhole, climbed down and got it for her. It was ridiculous but it was something I never did so it was all fun :)

The heritage show was nice too (:

I'll refrain from talking about bad stuff in this post.

So, the other night I emailed my mom asking and telling her about upcoming plans and events.

I told her that spring sports start next week which is lacrosse and track for me.
The band stuff, then I asked her about my birthday lunch/dinner, movies with April, etc

She replied with [edited]

doing all that plus you have to do your house work too......instead of sitting in front of the computer all the time. that is what i hear about you over there if you don't do your share maybe you should go live with me. where you have to take care of yourself daily!!!

I love you and i'm sorry that i wasn't alway there for you

i basically destroyed your life and you were never given a secure home, i'm selfish and only care about myself. I trust you so much

hopefully you respect yourself care for your bright future and not end up like me!!!!

this was not something I was expecting from her at all but this is the first time she's ever said anything like this to me.

I mean really, all I want is for her to be proud of me.

I hate crying like this.

sweet sixteen!

My sweet sixteen will be March 2.
I'm going to have a birthday dinner with Calvin.
I'll make a facebook event for it, hahah.

So I made up a wishlist:
-camera
-cellphone
-apron
-long socks
-post secret books
-a reading light i can attach to my book!
-this!
-for joneil and I to work out

When it comes down to it. Material things don't even matter anymore when these things happen.

It's been a while since I've posted a blog.

I feel really sick right now and I've felt sick all day.
Today was Calvin's last day too and I only saw him once & it was for a few minutes

I really don't feel like going to school tomorrow, so maybe I could convince my mom in letting me stay at homee :)

So one of my new years resolution this year is to cry less.
But that is not working.

you tell me I cry a lot
but you're the person who makes me cry the most

I tell you what's wrong when I'm upset
and you yell at me and get mad at me

Is that reasonable?

Even if I did tell you earlier, you would've reacted the same way
That's exactly why I was afraid to

I'm freaking sick of crying
so why do you do this to me?